eternal love

eternal love

Saturday, May 31, 2014

May to May

Barren Soul
Black curtains
Don't need the sun 
The storm could last for ages 
As warm as hell on a spring day 
An aimless walk through the park 
And I can't stop feeling detached from the world...

All the sadness and pain,
Heartbreak...
It's so hard to pinpoint the reasons, 
Uninspired words,
To become part of book 
I'll never truly understated. 

One year ago today;
I spent the night locked inside 
After they kept me for 48 hours
As a threat to myself...

All I could think about was why does it hurt so much.
Why does my pain hurt so many others? 
And how can I heal now, once I've crossed the notion 
Life will never be the same..
Life will never be the same
Life will never be the same, again. 

I was falling down the stairs in my mind
I was shooting myself with a gun I didn't have
What were these thoughts
 And why the panic wouldn't stop?

They prepared medication of the mind 
No short term remedy is the answer 
But I'll keep taking what makes me not want to 
Harm  myself in anyway 
As long as I can get home and explain 
In words that make sense even to me. 

I needed help, I needed help  from somewhere
I was far to embarrassed
I think that ending my life was a bit to drastic 
But when you feel that  depression is a disease
There's no cure for you, you start to think 
You'll always be unhappy 

The rational logic is to accept the fact
That anything can happen at any given  time....
If it isn't fate and it isn't will 
Then some strange  paradox 
That once you think you've hit rock bottom 
There's can be more... and more
But soon you will see
A lot of good can come out of suffering 
Like the way I fell in love and got married... 

Now I want so desperately to stay alive
As long as I can. 

I open up to you. 

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